We each found ways of coping during this terrible year; these were my ways:
I simplified my life. I leaned into what I learned from my mother – how routine frees the mind to focus on bigger issues, how a mind unclogged with the mundane has agility, more easily focusing on the bigger picture.
I chose to be positive. Being despondent meant infecting every space with darkness and I could not do that. I chose to listen with an open heart; to seek out the beautiful, the fun and the joyful and to offer others the same permission; to accept the privilege of feeling the warmth of sunshine. This led me to gossip less – what I call ‘sharing information’ – and a real lack of patience with free-floating negativity. I kept my pain close, examining it nightly before tucking it away. I paid attention to what I could change and what I was powerless to change as I showed up again and again, going to Israel for a wedding, but also joining in the pain and anger at rallies.
I chose to be a listener to cousins living with the uncertainties of children serving in the I.D.F. until I realized I was no longer helpful – I could not imagine myself living their lives and our political differences clouded our love for each other, but still I listened.
I leaned into my Jewishness as a playwright. I was lucky to participate in a conversation with the NYTimes theatre critic Jesse Green, who spoke eloquently about leaning into our Jewishness without fear. I wrote two short plays about being Jewish right now and they were both produced; I joined the Jewish Plays Project as a reader. I brought my authentic Jewish self to the work.
This year will not be simple or free of pain. But I look to effect positive change however I can, to share sunshine with as many people as possible while holding both pain and optimism close.
